IELTS雅思寫作 Task 1範例:5分-菁英雅思補習班


Student's Name:劉同學 (02110704017)

Date of Essay:2018-08-10


【Task 1 Topic】
The graph below gives information from a 2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with a projections until 2030.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

======STUDNET'S ANSWER  AS BELOW =======

This graph chart illustrates the variations of six sorts of energy, namely petrol and oil, coal, natural gas, nuclear, solar/wind and hydropower, which used in America from 1980 and makes a prediction (What is the subject of  this? Energy sources cannot make predictions!)  until 2030.In general, the consumption of petrol and oil topped the chart from 1980, and it will be remained the largest group in 2030, according to the projection of this graph.

The quadrillion units of petrol and oil was 35 from 1980,
and after 2005, the consumption was steadily increased steadily. In 2030, the use of fuels will reach 50 quadrillion units. The consumption of coal and natural gas was slightly fluctuated slightly from 1980 to 2010, then which reveled a continuous ascension(not clear)  after 2015, while natural gas used to (?) keep the same proportion. 

The use of nuclear, solar/wind and hydropower
was were merely about 4 quadrillion units from 1980. After 1985, the use of nuclear power demonstrated a slightly riese to approximately 7 quadrillion units, it will be projected to remain the same proportion in 2025. From this graph, the consumption of nuclear, solar/wind and hydropower were the least important which with each proportion reported to will be 7,5 and 3 respectively in 2030.


=======MARK  AS BELOW ========

【總分說明】
You list statistics without comparing and contrasting.
Task: 4.5 Coherence, cohesion: 5 Lexical: 5 Grammatical range/accuracy: 4.5
Score: 5.0


【為什麼這位同學獲得5分?怎麼評比的】

IELTS Mock Test Writing Assessment (Task 1)

Date: ________ /________/________
Candidate Name: ____劉同學____________
Candidate Number: ____(02110704017) _____

 

Criteria

Score

Comments

Task Achievement
(for Task 1)

4.5

You have your paraphrasing and overview highlighting the highest energy consumption throughout the period. Might be worth mentioning half of the energy sources remain steadily low while the other three see an upward trend.

Avoid quoting statistics without comparing and contrasting. You want all your information to be analyse to give a connection, otherwise your bullet points serve no purpose.

Coherence & Cohesion

5

There is some organisation. You group your information adequately, however there is not enough linking to present much clearer progression.

Avoid repetition: THE USE OF…. Consider using referencing: The consumption of X….., while the figure for Y……..to avoid a repetitive pattern to gain more marks under this category.

When key information flows without it seeming like a list, you can gain 6 or above.

Lexical Resource

5

Adequate, but somewhat limited vocabulary. Do not rely too much on only VERBS: increase, fluctuate, decrease… to describe the line graph.

Vary your vocabulary by using X experienced A STEADY UPWARD TREND.  Certain choices of words render your sentences unclear sometimes.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

4.5

You attempt at using more complex structures, however they tend to contain grammatical mistakes. Fortunately, most mistakes do not reduce communication.

Pay attention to the PASSIVE FORM. Avoid run-on sentences. You need
CONJUCTIONS to link two sentences, otherwise, start a new sentence.

Pay attention to what the subject is in a clause.

Total Score for Task 1

5.0

 

 


2018.10.02

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