IELTS雅思寫作 Task 1範例:6分-菁英雅思補習班


Student's Name:何同學(07110507088) 

Date of Essay:2018-08-03


【Task 1 Topic】
The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities.


======STUDNET'S ANSWER  AS BELOW =======

    
The two diagrams illustrate the development onf the an island, mainly for the tourism purposes.

In general, the changes to this island are characterized by the accessibility and accommodation for visitors, as well as several new roads added for people and vehicle to use.
Good overview.


The most apparent alteration is the construction of buildings and facilities. In the middle of this island, there is a reception situated in front of a pier where tourists can take boats to come arrive by boat. To the north of the reception is a restaurant, and these two buildings are surrounded by some houses which visitors can settle in.

There are also some paths added for travelers to trek. These footpaths
are linked to each accommodation and stretch to the west of this island, where a beach stands to offer visitors an area for entertainment of swimming. Besides, a track which encircles the reception and leads to the restaurant and pier makes it more convenient for people to drive on.


=======MARK  AS BELOW ========

    【總分說明】

Task: 6.5 Coherence, cohesion: 5.5 Lexical: 6 Grammatical range/accuracy: 6

Score: 6.0


【為什麼這位同學獲得6分?怎麼評比的】

IELTS Mock Test Writing Assessment (Task 1)

 

Date: ________ /________/________         

Candidate Name: ____何同學__________

Candidate Number: ____(07110507088) ______
 

Criteria

Score

Comments

Task Achievement
(for Task 1)

6.5

Very good paraphrasing and overview with appropriately selected information at the beginning of the essay.

Key features and bullet points are adequately presented. Other than the developments, the eastern area of the island, which remains unchanged, should also be mentioned to gain higher marks under TASK.

You should
also mention the fact the two areas of accommodation are located on either side of the reception area.

You used SURROUNDED in your essay, but it is not quite the case. Be clear and be precise.

Coherence & Cohesion

5.5

Information is listed somewhat robotically.

In order to gain more marks under this category,
group your information better by mentioning that the accommodation + restaurant are placed in close proximity while leisure facilities are spread out.

Avoid making a list of A, B, C, and D without enough linking. You need a clear PROGRESSION.

Lexical Resource

6

You use an adequate range of vocabulary with no spelling mistakes for this task.

More attention needs to go to
less common vocabulary with an awareness of style and natural collocation to gain more marks.

There is some repetition: visitors, accommodation. Inaccurate choice of vocabulary also occurred: ENTERTAINMENT.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

6

If it’s the first time you’ve mentioned the topic, use the INDEFINITE ARTICLE to introduce it.

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. You need fewer grammatical mistakes to gain higher marks.

Having said that, none of your mistakes reduce communication. So keep up the good work!

Total Score for Task 1

6.0

 

 

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2018.10.09

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