IELTS雅思寫作 Task 2範例:6 分-菁英雅思補習班

Student's Name:何同學 (07110507088) 

Date of Essay:2018-07-20


【Task 2 Topic】
Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology.


In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? 


======STUDNET'S ANSWER  AS BELOW =======

In the modern society, high-developed advanced technology has a huge impact on how people contact and interact with others. Although technology does bring us some benefits and cause positive changes, drawbacks still exist in it. indicate what the drawbacks are.

There is no denying that technology provides us with convenience. People can easily talk to their friends by just picking up the phone or typing a few words on the little mobile screen, without the concern of distance between them or how hard it is to meet each other in person due to their busy schedules busyness. The advent of the Internet also gives us more opportunity to make friends with new unknown people beyond the border of countries through social media or some dating applications. The development of technology achieves something incredible which could not have been cannot be imagined in the old days.

Nonetheless, advanced technology doesn't always affect people in a positive manner. Too many means of connection with friends sometimes make people become careless to maintain their friendship or pay less attention to keeping a nice relationship. The further consequence is that people tend to find more new, quick and easy relationships rather than repairing the old ones when they have some problems with their friends. What's more, without the face-to-face interaction, it is hard to tell whether the people we know on the website
are is good or not. Too vague. What do you mean?

In conclusion, while we take benefit from the advantages of technology, we must have the awareness of the underlying risks when using it and we must do not let the development of the technology change our behavior or forget how to cherish a sincere relationship.


=======MARK  AS BELOW ========

【總分說明】

Task: 6 coherence, cohesion: 6 Lexical: 6 Grammatical range/accuracy: 6
Score: 6.0
Keep up the good work.


【為什麼這位同學獲得6分?怎麼評比的】

IELTS Mock Test Writing Assessment (Task 2)

Date: ________ /________/________         

Candidate Name: ____何同學______

Candidate Number: ____(07110507088) ______

 

Criteria

Score

Comments

Task Response
(for Task 2)

6

You address all parts of the task adequately by discussing both the pros and cons of the topic.

However, you did not offer a solution how to strike a balance.  At the end of your introduction, you focus on the drawbacks. That makes your readers think you are going to develop your argument based on that. Later, you talk about the convenience followed by the negative impact without really drawing a meaningful conclusion.

Coherence & Cohesion

6

There is a clear overall progression in your essay.

Your ideas and examples are linked effectively. The end of your 3rd paragraph should be clearer. It should link to a concluding sentence about trusting people.


A clear concluding sentence for each main body paragraph will earn you 7 or above under this category.

Lexical Resource

6

Adequate vocabulary. Avoid using vague adjectives like GOOD/BAD in academic writing if you do not elaborate on this.

Overall good collocations, but you need all your words and phrases to work better together. Read more in English in order to produce natural collocations.


Do not form words and ideas in Chinese first before you try and translate them into English.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

6

Adequate use of a mix of simple as well as more complex sentence structures.

You need to be careful with your verb tenses and your singular/plural forms and the verbs that agree with the forms. None of your grammatical errors affect the meaning you try to convey.

Keep up the good work and reduce such mistakes to gain a higher score.

Total Score for Task 2

6

 


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